Sam,
We knew that when your adoption happened we wanted to have a
big party so we could all celebrate together. One of things I wanted out of the
party was a picture of your whole village together and we got one!
After Rev. Grace offered a blessing for our family and gave
others a chance to voice their blessings – we shuffled everyone to the stage
and gathered for a picture. I was delighted that everyone played along – but of
course they would – you have the best village!
There were lots of people who wanted to be with us that
afternoon to celebrate and couldn’t be but I wanted to tell you now who was
there and who the people are in this picture. I want you to always know who
they are and why they matter to our family. (No one else will probably care
about this list – but I hope from it you can see the variety of people who love
you and are happy to be in your village.)
You’ve got some very familiar people on the front row.
There’s Steve and MaeMae who are basically some of your favorite people. Next
to MaeMae is Poppy. He came all the way from “where the cows live” (what you
call Eva) to be there! He’s the best Poppy! Then there’s me and Bubbie. And
next to Bubbie is Ms. Cheryl. I’ve worked with her at Open Door for almost
eight years. She’s been a good friend to me at work and is always very
interested in our lives.
On the next row back you’ll recognize Rev. Grace holding K. Rev.
Grace is the priest at the church where we worship and I work. She’s been an
important person to us. Before Bubbie and I got married we met with her for
pre-martial counseling and really appreciated her wisdom and guidance. She’s
holding K. K has been your little brother for 20 months. You love being a big
sister to him and all the other “babies” who have come into our home. Being a
Big Sister is an important part of who you are.
Next to Rev. Grace is Ms. LaSaundra and her kids. Ms. LaSaundra
is one of my favorite people I get to work with in Circles. She’s worked really
really hard to make things more positive and stable for her kids and now she’s
a volunteer with Circles helping others make the same sorts of changes. She
also works in the office that has made sure your day care is paid for through
the state. She’s an important person there too!
Next to them are Anna and Nikki. They’re your cousins from
Alabama. You love going to their house to play when we’re there and will follow
“your big girl” Anna around for hours. They’re taking really good care of Poppy
right now which is a huge gift to Bubbie. We’re glad they’re in your family and
glad they’re in the village.
Next to them are Aaron, Sarah Jane and their 3 kids. Sarah
Jane and Aaron are also foster parents. We’re happy we’re in this together.
Fostering is a crazy and beautiful thing and its made such a difference to have
folks on this journey with us.
Next to the boys are Lyndsey and Ashley. You’ve gotten to
spend lots of time with them at Circles while Ashely worked with me and Lyndsey
was an Ally. Bubbie first met Ashley in the Counseling Program at CSU. We love
how they always make us laugh and both genuinely care about education and
making the world a better place.
Next to Ashley in the red shirt is Ms. Donna. Ms. Donna goes
to church with us now and used to be a foster parent herself. She has a great
big heart and uses her time in service to others.
Next to Ms. Donna is Mr. John and Mrs. Vicky. Mr. John is
the lawyer that worked with us to finalize your adoption. We were grateful his
name will always be on your paperwork and that he was there with us in the
process. Before she retired I worked with Mrs. Vicky at CVEM. She was the
Director and I led Infusion which meant I got to work with teenagers. Mrs.
Vicky was such a great leader in that group too. She’s such a strong example of
a servant leader and has given lots of her time and energy to starting great
things in our community. She helped me tremendously with the work we did in
Circles. She cares more about justice than anyone I know. We also go to church
with them now.
Next to Mrs. Vicky are Jar and Mia. Jar is your favorite
Uncle and Mia is your favorite Aunt. We can’t wait for their baby to be born
and for you to get to meet “Baby Cousin.” You’ll learn lots of thing about
family. Some family you get to choose and some family you don’t. I am glad that
my brother is someone I would choose to be in the village even if he wasn’t my
brother. I am also glad he brought Maggie into our family and her family too!
Next to Mia is Aunt Sarah. I’ve known Sarah since she was in
middle school. One day I’ll show you pictures! My friendship with Sarah is one
of those things I would never have predicted 15 years ago when I was hired to
be a youth ministry intern at the church where she grew up. Life is funny and
the relationships we make and keep along the way are surprising. Sarah is an
important and special person to you and we hope she will be for a long time.
Back on the other end you’ll see Ms. Kim behind Rev. Grace.
Ms. Kim has been my friend since I was in college and I’ve gotten to work with
her as my boss at Open Door. She’s one of those people who has “the
minister-vibe.” She’s a great listener and something about her makes you want
to tell her all you think and feel! She’s a visionary and leader in our
community and I am so grateful I’ve gotten to work in ministry with her.
Next to Ms. Kim you’ll recognize Aunt Pissy (your name for
her) holding L. I’ve been friends with Melissa since high school and am glad
we’re in this foster family together. She got interested in foster parenting
after she saw us doing it. Melissa has the biggest heart of anyone I know. She
is a very good friend and I’m grateful for the longevity of our friendship. We
can’t wait for L to be your forever cousin too! Next to them is Nana B. Nana is
Melissa’s mom. We’re glad she’s in the village too. She was one of your first
babysitters!
Next to Nana B. are Shelley and her daughter. Shelley and I
grew up together in school and church and now she lives in another part of the
state. Shelley and her husband are adopted parents too. I have appreciated her
support and encouragement as we’ve fostered and adopted. It was such a great
surprise to see them at your party. Your village reaches far and wide!
Behind Shelley you’ll see Ms. Laura and your new church
buddy Wyatt – or Max as you call him. Laura and I grew up together at church
and had lots of fun (and got in some trouble together) as teenagers. I am glad
she’s back here and especially glad she and Wyatt are coming to church at St.
Thomas. I am sure you two are on the way to having the same sorts of fun we
did. Just know – that if you try to copy his personal testimony for a writing
assignment or if you two are standing next to each other and get the giggles
during a choir performance Ms. Laura and I will know how to handle it. Just
trust us.
Next you’ll see Ms. Courtney. She and I met in seminary and
there are so many thing I wish you could learn from her. Courtney is good with
money and sticking to her word and being careful about boundaries. She’s
thoughtful and she’s smart and she cares about people. Seminary was an
interesting time for me and I am so grateful for the friends I made then.
Behind Ms. Courtney you’ll see Mr. Denny and next to Ms.
Courtney is Mrs. Carol. They have known me since I was a bitty baby! They are
good friends to MaeMae and Steve. MaeMae used to keep their son while they were
at work so we have lots of memories together. They also go to the church where
I grew up and Mr. Denny was my Sunday School teacher and an awesome youth
volunteer for years. They have been so excited to help MaeMae and Steve welcome
their first grandchild into the family and they have thoughtfully encouraged us
along the way.
Next to Mrs. Carol you will see Mrs. Charlene. If Baptists
had Saints I would nominate Mrs. Charlene. She’s a very good friend to MaeMae
for a long time. Her daughter is my age and we grew up together at church and
in high school. Mrs. Charlene is one of the kindest and most generous people I
know – and I know some pretty kind and generous people. Her husband is also in your
village – he’s your doctor!
Next to Mrs. Charlene you’ll see Ms. Ann. Ms Ann came with
Ms. Martha who you will see down the line. Ms. Ann and Ms. Martha go to Epworth
where we used to go to church. It’s the first place Bubbie and I took you to
church and we went as a family. It is a wonderful place with wonderful and kind
people who loved and cared for our family well. Ms. Ann helped in the kitchen
and made great meals we enjoyed and Ms. Martha took care of you in the nursery.
We were delighted they came to the party to celebrate with us.
Next to Ms. Ann you’ll see Mrs. Diane. Diane was Bubbie’s
boss for a while when they both worked at the domestic violence shelter. I also
worked with her when I taught Sunday School at Victory Mission. She is a
thoughtful person who works to make the world a better place. Bubbie and I are
both better people because we’ve gotten to work with her.
Next to Ms. Diane you’ll see Marth, Avery and another Mrs.
Ann. (I know its confusing that there is another Martha and Ann.) Their family
and our family have been friends since before I was born. MaeMae was friends
with Mrs. Ann when she was young and Marth and I grew up together. We both had
parents that worked at First Baptist and it seems like we were there together
all the time. Avery and Marth and Ann have celebrated your birthdays with you
and holidays and my birthdays too. With them – you don’t get just one you get
the whole crew and that’s a good thing.
Behind Marth you’ll see Mrs. Susan. She works in the office
next to me at Open Door and we go to church with her family. You like her
husband Mr. Spence because he is silly with you. You also like her children
because they are big kids and pay attention to you at church. Mrs. Susan always
makes an effort to sit with our family at church meals. This is a big deal
because our family is usually messy and loud at church meals and not the most
ideal place to sit for a relaxing meal. Bubbie and I both appreciate this thoughtfulness
and the experiences we share as Baptists at St. Thomas now. Mrs. Susan also
hosted a baby shower for me and Bubbie before we started fostering. That was a
kindness I won’t ever forget.
Behind Mrs. Susan and Mrs. Ann you’ll see Aunti O. You call
her “T.O.” most of the time now. She’s your favorite babysitter! She works with
me at Open Door and has for lots of years. She’s concerned about people in the
world that others sometimes forget about. She also gives the best presents! We’re
glad she’s in our village and appreciate her being a part of our family.
Next you’ll see Mrs. Martha from Epworth that I mentioned earlier.
Then – almost taller than anyone else is Melanie. Melanie is
Sarah’s girlfriend and we’re real glad she’s in the village. You think she’s
the best book reader ever and enjoying singing along with her aquarium song! You
also let her braid your hair and it is beautiful. We’re glad life brought
Melanie and Sarah together and even more glad that she’s in the village.
In front of Melanie is Mrs. Lauren. She’s married to Mr.
Daniel who is standing next to her. I went to seminary at the same time they
did although we weren’t really friends until we all ended up back here. Lauren
came to my ordination even though we didn’t know each other well and I remember
her saying “Even though I don’t know you well I wanted to be supportive.”
Lauren has been a chaplain and is now a middle school teacher. She also used to
work with me in Circles. I’m glad she brings all of those skills and gifts to
your village. Daniel has worked with homeless families and is now working as a chaplain.
They’re coming to church at St. Thomas now which we’re very excited about. We
care about lots of the same things and are looking for ways to work together on
things that matter.
Behind Daniel is Mr. Taylor. Mr. Taylor is Rev. Grace’s
husband. We sit in front of him most Sundays in church and you enjoy his
singing. We’re grateful he’s in the village and that he shares his knowledge
and passions with us at St. Thomas.
Next you’ll see Mrs. Jennifer. Mrs. Jennifer has sons my age
that I grew up in school with but she’s in the village now because she goes to
St. Thomas and we’ve worked together there. She’s a great teacher and leader.
She is someone that gets things done! She also cares a lot and knows a lot about
new babies and we’ve counted on her several times for good advice!
Next to her you’ll see Mrs. Godwin. I can’t really call her anything
else because that’s what I called her in 2nd grade when she was my
teacher’s aide! She has a daughter named Meg so we’ve always had a special connection.
She goes to St. Thomas and was one of the first people to make sure we were
welcomed when we started going to church there. We sit near her in church too
and we appreciate her patience with us! She also makes the BEST cookies and
sweet treats and maybe one day she will teach you! One thing that I really appreciate
about Mrs. Godwin is that she speaks truth. Truth telling is important and we
need more of that in the world – so I’m glad it is in your village.
Behind Mrs. Godwin you can barely see Uncle Richard’s head.
Uncle Richard is MaeMae’s brother. You enjoy going to his house and playing
with his dog with MaeMae sometimes after school. Auntie Diana is next to him
and you appreciate that she gives you nice baby dolls! She just gave you a
Cabbage Patch for Christmas that you adore! Being able to grow up in the same
area as your relatives is not something that everyone gets to do. I am thankful
I got to grow up around grandparents and great-aunts and great-uncles and
cousins and aunts and uncles. I am glad you’re getting that too!
Next to Auntie Diana you’ll see Kati. Kati and I have known each other since
middle school when we were in church together. We also lived together for 2
years while I was in school in Atlanta. Next to Kati is her sister Christie. It
has been good to reconnect with them since we’re all back in Columbus. They babysit
sometimes and invited us to their house when they trusted you with a drink on
white carpet. That’s love, kid.
In between Kati and Christie is Sig. Sig is married to
Audrey who is next in line. Audrey has been one of my best friends for more
than 18 years. We went to church together in middle and high school and then
lived together while we were in school in Atlanta. She’s a person I trust with
my secrets and who give logical level-headed advice. She gives thoughtful gifts
(like a night of babysitting for Mother’s Day) and is one person in the village
I believe that I could call at 2 am and she would come without asking
questions. We all need a handful of those people. While we don’t see enough of
each other as I would like, she is important to me and important to the village.
She brought Sig into the village and we’re glad about that to. He’s fun and
funny and builds beautiful things!
Behind Audrey you’ll
see Mrs. Barbara. I met her when she started volunteering with Circles as an
Ally. She’s a great Ally. She’s a great Ally in the program to her Circle
Leaders but she’s also been a great Ally to me. She’s been encouraging to me
when I really needed it and when she didn’t even know – and she’s inspiring to
me as she loves her family and her friends so well. She’s been on this foster
journey with us and we’re so delighted she came to celebrate your adoption.
In front of her you’ll see another Katie. She goes with
Stacey who is wearing plaid behind Sarah. Bubbie and I have known Stacey for a
long time and recently met Katie when they started dating. They are both very
brave and courageous and do the right thing even when it is really hard. They
made you a special quilt for the day that folks signed for you. We don’t get to
see them as much as we would like, but they’re an important part of the
village.
Between Katie and Stacey you’ll see Colleen. I lived with
Colleen while I was in Atlanta for school and we worked together at an
afterschool program. Colleen is hilarious and thoughtful and an all-around nice
person. It sounds generic to say but it is not something you can say about
everyone. We were surprised she came for
the party but that’s just how she is. She shows up and you’re glad she’s there!
Behind Colleen you’ll see Uncle John. Growing up I called
him Uncle Little John. He’s Steve’s younger brother. (I also had an Uncle Big
John that was MaeMae’s older brother.) Uncle John lives in Mobile but we see
him often because he comes to take care of Grandmama.(Here’s a good place to
say that Grandmama and Aunt Beck would have been here but they were at the
beach. Grandmama likes to go in October!) Uncle John grows things that are
beautiful and things that taste good. We’re glad he brings those skills to the
village. He makes you laugh and chases you and tickles you and hangs you by
your ankles. He did the same to me. Ah, the circle of life!
Last, but not least, you’ll see the Revells on the end. You
can barely see Mrs. Suzy’s eyes above Stacey’s head. Mrs. Suzy has known me for
a long time but we reconnected when we were at Epworth. Mrs. Suzy makes
beautiful things with her sewing machine. She’s helped me to learn to applique
and embroider too! She’s made you some pretty cool clothes and a quilt to
celebrate you adoption too! We also reconnected with Mandy and Carson at Epworth
and their kids. Bubbie played softball with them and you liked playing with
Crosby in the mud and dirt and the practices and games. Now you go to school
with them and we see them almost every day. They came to your birthday party
last year and Crosby’s birthday party was the first you ever went to when you
came to live with us. It’s nice as a parent to have parent friends. We’re glad
they’re in the village!
Whew. It has taken me longer than I thought to write this
down for you Sweet Sam – but I am glad I did. I want you to know and remember
who was at this party and who the folks are in this picture. You should also
know that there are lots of folks in the village who weren’t there to celebrate
with us that day but are important to us.
Most of all know that love looks like all kinds of things
and all kinds of people. We need to make sure that we always have people around
us with different gifts and knowledge and experiences. Looking for those things
in others and sharing those things that we have with others makes life so much
richer. Bubbie and I believe that it really does take a village to raise a
child. We are grateful for the villages that raised us and the village that is
forming to raise you. Look at these faces, kid. They are your village. You’ll
add people to this group as you grow and we will add some people too, but these
are the people who celebrate you now and celebrate our family. Learn from them.
Pay attention to them. Know them and listen to them. The world is a better
place because they are all here and you’ll be a better person because each of
them is in your village.
I love you, Sweet Sam.
Mama
