We like having three kids but were told we had to wait until S's adoption was final until we accepted another placement. So we've been waiting. The adoption is taking longer than we thought (but everything is with the judge now and we're literally just waiting on a date!)
While I was out of town last week with no cell reception, I missed a call from the placement person for our county. When I got her message days later my heart soared and sank at once. The county had an huge influx of babies in one week and they were desperate. She was calling and willing to bend the rules and let us have another baby in this waiting time. But we missed it. I don't know who the baby was they were calling about, but I can't help but wonder.
I joked with friends at a foster parent training this weekend that we won't get a baby now because now would be a good time. We've typically only gotten placements when something crazy is happening and it could be potentially disastrous timing. Right now would be an okay time to adjust and get settled in - so of course it won't happen!
I read a blog post recently that briefly catalogued the placements that family had and it made me want to do the same. I'm writing this primarily for myself - but isn't that what most blogs are anyway?!?
Our first call for a placement came in the middle of the night. Literally. There was an eight month old baby girl who was coming to our county from another county. She had been in the care of relatives there but needed to come into care officially in our county. We never learned why this had to happen in the middle of the night, but in the middle of the night is not the time to ask questions. We said yes and got up and waited for her to arrive. C turned out to be seven months old and was tiny, high strung, and blonde! She made us parents. We took her to the beach a couple of weeks after we got her on a trip we'd planned with Susie's parents. She stayed with us about six weeks and then went back to live with the relatives/family friends officially.
The next call also came in the early early morning. State troopers had pulled over a drunk driver and there were two little boys in the truck. We said yes and went to meet them where they had been pulled over. This saved time and DFCS trying to figure out car seats (they hadn't been in carseats in the truck). J was four and B was eleven months. We didn't learn this or their real names until after they left. We had them for just three days. Long enough for DFCS to sort out what happened. The drunk driver hadn't been a parent so the boys were cleared to go home with mom. It was the first time we had two kids at once. It was wild and busy and hard because we had no real info about the boys until after they left!
The next call came just a few days after they left. Two more boys. Brothers. 3 and 5. Susie had been at the DFCS office earlier in the day and had seen them come in. Something didn't feel right. We didn't think we were ready for two at once again - especially two old enough to really ask questions about what was happening. They seemed like too much for us at that point. Not a good fit. We said no. The first time you say no is so so hard but we knew it was right.
The next call came on a Thursday afternoon. The police had a little girl who had been at home when her parents were arrested for fighting each other and repeatedly calling 911. They told us she was nine months old. Susie got to DFCS first. I met her there as she was getting to know S. They gave us a diaper bag that had one diaper and "little barrel" sugar water drinks. S turned out to really be seven months old. She had obviously been left alone in an infant carrier most of her seven months. The following Thursday we drove to Washington DC for friends' wedding celebrations and took her. It was a good thing she was a chill traveler. It was an adventure for sure! This summer S will become our forever daughter.
Months later, we decided we were ready for two kids again. Susie and S were out of town at her parents and I was home alone getting over Hand Foot and Mouth Disease! The call came for a three month old girl who would likely be short term. There was some confusion about which relative was supposed to have the baby and they needed a placement just until that was sorted out. I called and friend and said "can you help because I can't do this by myself still sick?!" She said yes so I said yes. They worker showed up with a six week old baby boy! We had J for 16 months. When he left us he went to his grandmother. He is the only babe to leave us that we still don't feel good about. He has some special needs we were concerned about being met. We hadn't had any contact for months and randomly his mother called me last week. We'll see what happens but we would love to see him again!
Our fifth placement is K who we still have. Susie and I attended a foster parent training on Saturday and the placement person made a comment about the high number of kids in care and reaching a new point of need when "there was a baby ready to go home from the hospital and no one to take the baby." After the training I told her that we had never had three kids and didn't really have a place for a baby to sleep other than the dining room - but that if she needed us to we could take that baby. We just felt like it would be okay! At work on Monday I got a call letting me know to come get the baby girl! Literally on the way home from work - with nothing except the car seat we were using for J - I stopped and hospital and picked up K - who was very much a boy. He was the most difficult babe we've had with horrible reflux and colic. But now - he's a super charming 14 month old who is an important part of our family. He came into care because he already had a sister in care. She was in a different foster home that couldn't take newborns.
The next call came about another baby boy! He just needed a place for a few weeks. We said no - we didn't think we could do four kids. (Our friends said yes and he's still at their house! Few weeks turned into nearly a year!)
Our 6th placement was B - our Christmas kid. We got a call a few days before Christmas about a kid who was coming from another county. His mom lived in our county but had been shoplifting in another part of the state while he was with her. When she was arrested, there was no one to come get him, so he was put into care in the other county and transferred here. He was with us for seven days while things were sorted out for him to go home with mom. Things were really delayed by courts and offices being closed for the holidays. It was a wild holiday.
Our 7th placement - 8th kid - was Baby J. We got a call about this baby on a Thursday afternoon (have I mentioned Thursdays used to be my super busiest days at work??). There was a baby in the NICU that was ready to go home. He was coming into care because he had a sibling already in care. We didn't get him until almost a week later because we had to go pass all the tests to be able to bring him home since he was so small. J was with us for almost four months and then went to live with an aunt. We still communicate with them and see pictures from time to time.
Who will be next?
