K,
I haven’t written you a letter since last March and when I wrote that letter we thought you were
leaving us soon. It is almost a whole year later and you’re still here and we
are so glad.
We had an important court date for you this week. The judge
made the big decision to start the process to terminate your mom’s rights for
your sister. That means that more than likely your big sister won’t ever live
with your mom again. When she was a little baby your mom did something that
hurt your sister and she hasn’t seen her in almost 3 years. We’re sorry that
this all had to happen and we’re sad when families can’t live together. Even
though we are sad we are also hopeful that your sister will be able to be
adopted by the foster mom who has had her for nearly 2 years and who loves her
dearly.
That same day, the judge made the decision to not make that
same choice for you. He wants to give your mom a little more time to learn how
to take care of herself and you. He made this choice because your mom has been
visiting with you and has been doing some of the things she needs to do in
order to be able to care for you. He
thinks you have a bond. Recently your mom made some sad choices that mean she
can’t see you right now and likely won’t for several months. We go back to
court to see the judge in June. We’re not sure what will happen then. You’ll be
a big brother sometime at the end of the summer and we’re not sure how that
will change any of this either.
All foster kid cases are complicated but yours is especially
so for a variety of reasons. Separating your case from your sister’s make it
even more complicated but it also means you’re a little free-er. You’ve had at
least 9 case workers in 21 months of being in foster care and every time the
case manager has changed, details and plans have been lost and changed. We hate
that the system has failed you in these ways. You deserve better than this.
What I want to make sure you know is this: your mom loves
you a whole lot. I can tell that she is proud to be your mom. I know she is sad
that she hasn’t ever been the one to take care of you. That’s been really hard
for her. Your sister loves you a lot too. We’re going to make sure that you
keep having an opportunity to see your sister as she finds a permanent home.
I also hope you know that we love you a whole lot too. I am
sure that you know this because of the way you light up and call our names when
we come in your room in the morning. I am sure you know you’re loved by Bubbie
and by me and by Sam and MaeMae and Steve and friends at daycare and church. I
need you to be sure. You’ve never known anything but this love and I hope that
makes it dependable and trustworthy.
You’re almost 2 years old. You’re saying more and more words
but hate to repeat things when we ask you. You’re a great sleeper. Even though
you got a bit of a late start you’re a great runner! You still have some major
food hangups but we’re all learning how to deal with your allergies and
preferences. You relish being the middle child right now and love learning from
Sam and showing J the ropes. You are
super charming and give the best grins. You also have the most expressive “mean
mugs” of any child I’ve ever seen!
We’re still not sure how long you’ll be around and a part of
our family. Our hope and prayer is that we are able to be your forever family.
I would love to be your Mama forever and for you to be my first forever son. You’re
the first babe we brought home from the hospital and we’ve had you longer than
any other boy we’ve parented. Now we just have to wait and see if that can be.
In the mean time we’ll do what we’ve been doing. We will
feed you (mostly pretzels), teach you,
love you, bathe you, discipline you, hold you, change you, fight with your
hair, dance with you, sing with you, laugh with you and do all the other things
of life while we wait.
A lot of life happens in the waiting K. That’s one thing
you’ve for sure taught me. I am happy to be doing life with you.
Love,
Mama Meggie
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