Update for R&F

Dear R and F,

Today the judge heard your case. There were a lot of people there for this hearing. Your first mom, your three older brothers, three of your great-grandparents, some cousins, and several of your mom’s friends. Bubbie and I were also there.

The Judge wanted to hear from DFCS about what your mom has been doing on the list of things she needs to do to be able to take care of you well. There are three big parts to this and she’s started on one of the parts. She’s been out of town a lot over the past year but says she’s back and is going to work to be able to parent you.  She has a little bit of time left to do a whole lot of work. We’re not sure what’s going to happen. We will go back before the judge in January.

What we do know is that it seems to be priority for everyone to make sure that you and your two sisters end up together. Maybe that will be with mom if she works really really hard. There’s a small chance it could be with relatives if it is decided they can take all of you. There’s also a chance it will be with a new family that wants to adopt all four of you together. We are going to work as hard as we possibly can to make sure that whatever transition happens, happens in a way that is the best for you both. Even though we can’t be your parents forever, our commitment is to be the very best parents for you until you don’t need us to anymore. A big part of that is making sure that you transition well.

I wish I could tell you more about what will happen and when, but the truth is that in this world of foster care we never really know. There are lots of people looking out for you and thinking about what’s best for you and we will keep making sure that decisions are being made based on that.

F - We got results back today from some assessments you had done in June. We finally have names for some of the challenges you’ve been having. My hope is that these things aren’t used to “label you” or discourage anyone from knowing and loving you, but that they are used to make sure you’re getting the very best resources to help you be happy and healthy and whole. You’ve started talking so much more in the last weeks and are so proud of yourself. In our house before you can tattle to a grown up about something someone else has done, you have to tell the person who did something how it makes you feel. You appreciate this rule and I often hear you telling K “You make me feel…GRRRR!” You’re trying so hard to be a big boy. We’re proud of you and the work you’re doing and appreciate all the help we’re getting from our village. You’ve started spending some time with Aunt Beck. She loves you very much and is very invested in making sure you’re getting the attention you need.

R – These days you are nothing but charm. You’re picking up words and trying to talk more and more. You are one of the stealthiest babies I’ve known. Every chance you get, you sneak to your bedroom and grab your paci from the bed and stick it in your mouth.  You love to eat and play and sit and read books. You’ve almost totally caught up with the milestones you should be meeting. You’re amazing to us and everyday we marvel at how resilient you are.

We don’t know what the future holds for you or what a timeline might look like. We’re working hard to do everything we can to make sure that the decisions being made about your care are made for the very best reasons. Your Bubbie and I love you and are so glad you’re in our family.

Love, Mama