Happy Birthday, R!

Sweet R,

You are one year old! Happy Birthday!

We had a great time celebrating you recently with friends and family. Lots of people came to wish you well and celebrate you. They brought presents and wishes and love. You had a whole cake just to yourself for the celebration and you ate almost of it!

You’re such a good baby. (We know there is no such thing as a bad baby!) You fit into this family perfectly. You eat well and sleep well. You have a lovey you like to put over your face when you’re going to sleep that seems to be your favorite. You are flexible and easygoing. You love to rock yourself in your car seat and jump in the bouncy exerciser. You scoot yourself around while doing the splits and are trying to figure out crawling. You’re pulling up on some things but aren’t quite sure about that. You’re babbling and trying to make words and love to clap for attention and smiles. You love the bath and playing with the boat toys.

You’re the fifth child we’ve had on their first birthday. There is a bittersweetness to this. I think that first birthdays are more for parents than children. They’re a time when we celebrate parents making it through a year of keeping a little human alive. There are so many “firsts” in that first year. So many questions and so many times you wonder if you’re making the right choices. First birthdays are totally more for adults than they are for babies. They’re a time when adults gather with their friends and family and get a pat-on-the-back and get to take a breath and look at how far they’ve come and celebrate making it. And then that moment is gone and you head straight into the second year. Another year full of “firsts” and questions and wondering but with a little more confidence that it is going to be ok because we made it through the first one.

I am sorry that your mama and daddy didn’t get to celebrate this with you on your first birthday. That’s not the way it is supposed to work. I’m sorry you weren’t with all of your siblings and your grandparents and your great grandparents. I do think that on your birthday they probably all did stop and remember you and wish good things for you – some of them all the way from Mexico! I hope that you felt that love coupled with the love from us. We did get to celebrate with your older sisters on Saturday (your actual birthday) and they were thrilled to see you and give you gifts they chose. We’re making plans for you to see the rest of your mom’s family soon.

We have loved getting to be your mamas for 243 days of your first 365. You’ve done so much growing and learning. You’re healthy now and working hard to catch up on milestones.

A judge will hear your case this week. We don’t expect any big changes to happen anytime soon but we are going to start asking and pushing for them to find a place where you can be with more of your siblings. Your sisters miss you. They are happy when they know you’re happy and being taken care of. It would be good if they could see that every day. You deserve to be in a home where all of the rest of your birthdays can be celebrated with your siblings. 

We’re not sure how much longer you’ll be with us but we will love you and take care of you as long as we need to. Happy birthday, R. I’m glad you were born!

Love,

Mama and Bubbie