Thursday, May 12, 2016

Letter for K - Things Change!

Dear K,

We had an interesting meeting yesterday afternoon. We met your case worker and your sister’s foster mom at DFCS. We thought the meeting was to sit together and schedule transitional visits for you to move to Ms. L’s house. But the first thing the case worker told us was that she had talked to folks about the case and they wanted us to consider adopting you! They think it will be best for Ms. L to keep your sister and for us to keep you. This was really shocking for us! We’re not really sure yet how to feel.

Of course we love you and want to be your parents as long as we can be. We just hadn’t been letting ourselves believe it would be forever.

We’re not sure why DFCS isn’t going to push for you and your sister to be in the same home. I think they feel like since you haven’t ever lived together it is less important. Ms. L. and me and Bubbie talked about things we could do to make sure you and your sister know each other if this is how things end up.

Being foster parents – and being your parents – means we’re having to ask ourselves questions we don’t know how to answer. What’s best for you? What’s best for us? What’s best for your sister and Ms. L? How much does biology matter? Should the most important thing be getting the two of you in a home together? How do we best fight for you? Will you regret one day not growing up every day with your sister? Will we regret not fighting for that? Does there even need to be a fight?

We know your case comes back before the judge in July or August and after that DFCS is 90% sure TPR will be filed and you’ll be adopted by a non-relative. We are happy to be considered as a great adoptive fit for you. We are the only parents you’ve known. Our home is home for you.

My heart is happy and cautious. My head is cautious and concerned. We’re committed to figuring this thing out together. You are worth fighting for kiddo. Your Bubbie and I will continue to pray and think and talk to others and pray and talk together about making these choices.

There are a lot of things that we don’t know the answer to today. But there are things we know for sure:
We love God and God gives us the strength and wisdom and calling and hope to be able to do this.
We love each other and love that fostering is a part of our family.
We love you. And we will continue to love you in the very best ways we can figure out.

Love,

Meggie

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