Dear K,
We had an interesting meeting yesterday afternoon. We met
your case worker and your sister’s foster mom at DFCS. We thought the meeting
was to sit together and schedule transitional visits for you to move to Ms. L’s
house. But the first thing the case worker told us was that she had talked to
folks about the case and they wanted us to consider adopting you! They think it
will be best for Ms. L to keep your sister and for us to keep you. This was
really shocking for us! We’re not really sure yet how to feel.
Of course we love you and want to be your parents as long as
we can be. We just hadn’t been letting ourselves believe it would be forever.
We’re not sure why DFCS isn’t going to push for you and your
sister to be in the same home. I think they feel like since you haven’t ever lived
together it is less important. Ms. L. and me and Bubbie talked about things we
could do to make sure you and your sister know each other if this is how things
end up.
Being foster parents – and being your parents – means we’re
having to ask ourselves questions we don’t know how to answer. What’s best for
you? What’s best for us? What’s best for your sister and Ms. L? How much does
biology matter? Should the most important thing be getting the two of you in a
home together? How do we best fight for you? Will you regret one day not
growing up every day with your sister? Will we regret not fighting for that?
Does there even need to be a fight?
We know your case comes back before the judge in July or
August and after that DFCS is 90% sure TPR will be filed and you’ll be adopted
by a non-relative. We are happy to be considered as a great adoptive fit for
you. We are the only parents you’ve known. Our home is home for you.
My heart is happy and cautious. My head is cautious and
concerned. We’re committed to figuring this thing out together. You are worth
fighting for kiddo. Your Bubbie and I will continue to pray and think and talk
to others and pray and talk together about making these choices.
There are a lot of things that we don’t know the answer to
today. But there are things we know for sure:
We love God and God gives us the strength and wisdom and
calling and hope to be able to do this.
We love each other and love that fostering is a part of our
family.
We love you. And we will continue to love you in the very
best ways we can figure out.
Love,
Meggie
