Today was a big day!

Dear Sweet S,

There are a lot of things I want to tell you about today. I am trusting this will be a day we talk about many times and I can’t wait for those times. For now, we’ll have to do with this letter since most of our conversations these days are about Elmo or why I’d like you not to pull your brother’s hair.

Today your Bubbie and I got married. We stood in front of a few of our friends and some of our family and promised a lot of things to each other. We promised to always love each other. To take care of each other when things are really fun and easy and even when things are hard and no fun at all. We promised to make our marriage and family and home a sign of Christ’s love for the world. We promised to work together and forgive each other and trust and honor each other forever. We asked God to help us keep these promises and asked our friends and family around us to help us too.

We gave each other rings that we will wear from now on as a sign that we are married. These rings are important to us and to the rest of the world. It means that we have made our choice and someone else has chosen us. We also gave you a special bracelet to wear today. Right now you like it because it shiny and an accessory, and you love accessories, but I hope you will know it one day as a special gift you got on a special day.

We had a great party with our friends celebrating this commitment. Our friends came from far and near - but mostly far – to celebrate with us. We had good food, and good music. We laughed a lot and danced! It was cold and icy outside so we had to be inside for our ceremony but it was special and beautiful and proof anywhere can be holy ground. 

It was a great day. A beautiful day.

The thing is Sweet Girl, there are some people in the world who can’t see the beauty. There are some people in the world who think that Bubbie and I shouldn’t be able to make the promises that we made to each other. And some people who think that we shouldn’t even love each other. They don’t get it. And that’s hard sometimes. But you know what? It is ok. It doesn’t make me love Bubbie any less or mean that our promises to each other are not real and important. 

Our love for each other is real and our love for you is real. We don’t need anyone else to tell us that. It is just something we know.

It was really important to me and Bubbie that we make these official promises to each other before we officially get to adopt you.  We’ve made promises to each other before but these promises we made out loud in front of our friends and got permission from a judge to do it which means we are legally married.

You haven’t noticed yet, but our family looks different from other families – but all families look different. Some families have two mommies and some families have two daddies. Some families have one mommy or one daddy. Some families are big and some are small. Sometimes kids live with their grandparents or aunts or uncles. Sometimes families don’t even have kids! Sometimes everyone in the family matches everyone else and sometimes they don’t. Our family right now looks different than it will (probably) in six months. Because we’re a foster family we are open to taking care of kids for a little while when they need it and taking care of kids for a long time or even forever.

We are excited that you are a part of this family. You weren’t the first child that made us parents, but you were the one we’ve gotten to know and love the longest. And the first we think we’ll parent forever.

Your family is special, kiddo. You get a Mama and a Bubbie to take care of you. You have 4 grandparents who love you so much. You have one aunt and uncle and a whole lot of great aunts and uncles. You have lots of cousins in Alabama. We also count our friends in our family. You have an Aunt Missy who sees you often and loves you as much as we do – and she’s just one example of a friend who is our family. Our family has a lot of people in it and all of those people love you and are excited about being your family. And after the promises Bubbie and I made to each other today, both of the families we came from become one new family.

I know one day you may have questions about why our family is the way it is and that is ok and it is good and we will talk about it. I hope that you see in the world around you all kinds of ways to be family. The world is changing, Sweet Girl and it is exciting and scary to be in the middle of that change. I wish we could protect you from all of the scary parts and we will try our best for as long as we can – but just in case remember this: When the scary parts come, or when people who don’t understand our family say things that hurt our feelings it doesn’t change the fact that we are a family. It doesn’t change the love I have for Bubbie or that she has for me and it doesn’t change our love for you.

I married your Bubbie today because I love her and she loves me. We didn’t do it to make a political statement. We didn’t do it to get on TV. We didn’t do it because all of our friends are married and it was an excuse to buy new clothes. We got married to say to world that we are a family and that we have chosen to live out our days with each other, working together to make our world a better place for everybody. We got married because we aren’t hiding our relationship or pretending we are something that we aren’t. We got married because we believe in marriage and that it is something that is important to God and important in our world.

I can’t wait to show you pictures of today and tell you all about it. Until then, know you are loved – now by two married parents – and their friends and family who threw a great party.

Love, Mama Meggie