Patience.

"Let nothing disturb you, 
Let nothing frighten you, 
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
Whoever has God lacks nothing. God alone suffices." -St. Theresa

Today has been a day when its hard to remember that "Patience obtains all things."

We found out there is a change in S's case manager today which means a BRAND new person will be taking over her case. This seems like bad timing. The old case worker was supposed to go to the prison this coming Monday to visit her birth dad to get/let him surrender his parental rights. This has been a long time coming and we felt like things were finally happening!

So frustrating. But trying to see the positive. Maybe this new person will bring new energy and a sense that she wants to get things done. Maybe something about who this person is will be exactly what we need to see this case to completion. 

Maybe. 
Hopefully. 
Please.

We live with such uncertainty everyday caring for a child who is ours and is not ours all at the same time. 
But most days its easy to ignore those voices of 
"this might not work" 
"you probably won't have her next Christmas" and 
"she's not really yours" 
and just pay attention to the child that calls me Mama and the family we have together. 

Today I can't ignore the uncertainty. When changes like this happens the knot gets tighter in my stomach and it gets harder to take a deep breath. So I'll go home and hug Sweet S. And maybe play a little longer tonight before bedtime. And try to remember the words of St. Theresa. And be patient.