Dear Baby S.,
Yesterday we celebrated two months of you living with us and on Saturday we celebrated your 9th month of life in this world! It has been quite a month!
So many things happened when I was writing your first letter I forgot that you also got to meet Auntie Diana and Uncle Richard several times and that you saw Dr. Tom. Auntie Diana gave you a big stuffed gorilla that you love climbing on and you liked Dr. Tom – except when he sent his nurses in to give you 7 shots! Ouch!
So this month…wow!
You have perfected the art of the staring contest. You love to watch people and people love to watch you.
Every morning when you sit on the bed while I dry my hair you have a heated conversation with this Little People race car driver. When I hand it to you you start talking and waving the toy around. I don’t know what the toy has done to offend you in a previous life, but you’re telling it all about it now. I’ve given you other toys of the same variety and they don’t have the same effect!
You’re starting to make so much noise! You growl at us –
especially when we tell you “no” when you’re trying to claw our faces off. You “talk”
all the time and get mad about things like having to put a shirt on or us not letting
you chew on the edge of table in a restaurant. I am sure you are cussing us in
baby language but mostly it sounds like “da da dit dit.” I think you’re going
to have quite the temper.
You’re getting to be more cuddly. Which I couldn’t be
happier about. Sometimes in the name of “making sure you’re still breathing” I sneak
into your room when you’re sleeping and lift you out of the crib in the dark.
You barely wake up and snuggle into my neck. I love these moments. I love that
you feel so safe with us you let this happen. It is starting to happen more and
more – even when I don’t trick you into it while you’re sleeping. When it
happens, it sure is hard to put you down. So sometimes I don’t. Because in
those moments the most important thing I have to do is hold you. And let you
feel safe. Safe enough to lay your head down. Safe enough to trust us. (Once we
even got a picture!)
You’re loving moving around! You love jumping in the
doorway. You loved it even more when you realized you could peel the paint off
of the door frame. Needless to say, we found another door frame! You started
the month scooting – mostly backwards which really frustrated you. You just got
farther from what it was you really wanted! Now you’ve discovered rolling and
do it with fairly reliable accuracy. Your quick rolling and insatiable
curiosity led to an ER visit this month. We thought you swallowed a paperclip.
But you didn’t. Just had two in your mouth. Even at the ER you were a
trooper - making other kids around us
who didn’t feel very good laugh and play.
We’ve had several visits with your mom. Bubbie has been
taking you to these. Your mom is happy to see you each time and I am glad you
seem happy to see her. She has several things she has to do before you can go
live with her again and we hope and pray that she is working hard to be able to
be a good parent for you. She brought you a doll the last time you saw her. You’re
not old enough to play with it yet so we’ve put it up until you’re older.
You had an EPIC First Thanksgiving! Epic! We started by
making handprint turkeys for friends and family. It was messy but you didn’t
mind.
For Thanksgiving we went over several rivers and through the
woods to Bubbie’s parents house! They couldn’t wait to meet you! We had
Thanksgiving lunch with Bubbie’s dad’s family and dinner with Bubbie’s mom’s
family. You were delightful and very social. You really seem to like older
people and showing off for them – especially Mrs. Robbie! The days after
Thanksgiving we drove all over two counties so Bubbie’s parents could show you
off! You met all kinds of new friends! We also got to meet our friends Susan and Angela for
supper on Friday. I was glad to see them and so glad they got to meet you! Your
first Thanksgiving was just what Thanksgiving was supposed to be like. Lots of
friends and family who love each other spending time together, acknowledging the
good things in our life and the gifts we’ve been given, and good food! This
Thanksgiving I was most thankful for you and the others kiddos I’ve gotten to
love on and for the way my family is a family.
We celebrated Uncle Richard’s 70th birthday with
a special meal and you got to have ice cream! Any more time with Auntie Diana
and you would be rotten for sure!
So far this year you’ve seen Santa 3 times! We saw Santa
with Parker, Patrick, and their parents in Macon. You loved him and we got an
extra free picture because you were so cute and Santa’s helper couldn’t decide
which picture was better!
We saw Santa a second time at a party for kids who are
living with foster families right now. This Santa was different but you loved
him too!
The 3rd Santa you met was really more like Father
Christmas. He was at Callaway Gardens for Fantasy in Lights. Aunt Missy took us
all this week. We rode the trolley even though it was very cold. We all bundled
up and braved it! You loved the people, and the lights, and dancing to the
music!
We’ve spent some time talking about the real reason for
Christmas. We were talking about baby Jesus and you reached for him and put him
in your mouth. That’s how you experience the world right now so it seems
fitting that you’d want to get to know Jesus that way too.
We have Christmas tree in our living room that you helped us
pick out. It was quite a fiasco getting it home and in the house – and then
decorated – but we got it done and it is beautiful! You enjoy the lights…and rolling to try and pull Bubbie’s red Chinese tassels off!
You also legitimately have a tooth! Your first tooth is on
the bottom in the middle and it’s a force to be reckoned with! I think one
right next to it is coming soon. We are ready! You got a little grumpy with the
tooth and had an upset tummy – but it didn’t really slow you down!
Last month I told you the most important thing I could tell
you and I’ll say it again. You are loved.
I read a letter another Foster Mama wrote to a baby girl she
was taking care of and it really really says the things I want to say. Her
letter is here: http://www.amusingmaralee.com/2013/11/a-letter-to-our-borrowed-baby/
and I’ve borrowed some of her words to share with you.
Bubbie and I will love you and take care of you because it
is the right thing to do – even when it is not fun or easy or rewarding. Now,
don’t get us wrong – we really do enjoy you and have fun with you but sometimes
its not easy to not be able to promise you all we want to be able to promise
you. I want to be able to promise you a safe and happy home forever. And stability.
And that decisions – by those who gave you life, and those charged with taking
care of you now - will always be made based on what is best for you. I’d like
to promise that one day you’ll see the handprint turkey you made and marvel
about how small your hand was on your first thanksgiving. I’d like to promise
that pictures of you with Santa next year will be put somewhere safe with the
pictures of you from this year. I’d like to promise that you wouldn’t again be
the recipient of a Valentines Bear for Christmas at the Christmas party for
foster kids. Its hard not to be able to promise those things but I can’t
because they aren’t in my control. And to be honest, even if I’d birthed you I couldn’t
really promise those things.
But I can promise you some things. I promise to love you. I promise
to treat your family with respect and kindness (something that I need to be
better about). I promise to make sure your needs are met and do what I can to
be sure you are safe and loved as long as I can. I promise to treat each day
like it matters. Because each day does matter and I want us all to be better
people because today happened. And Baby S. - you matter. You won’t fall through the cracks
or be forgotten about. You are smart. You are a creature of beauty and delight.
In a week we will celebrate Christmas. Your first Christmas
and my first Christmas as a parent. Its amazing the difference a baby can make.
I hope one day you’ll know about the baby that Christmas celebrates and how
much He loves you.
Love,
Meggie
