Today was a big day!

Dear Sweet S,

There are a lot of things I want to tell you about today. I am trusting this will be a day we talk about many times and I can’t wait for those times. For now, we’ll have to do with this letter since most of our conversations these days are about Elmo or why I’d like you not to pull your brother’s hair.

Today your Bubbie and I got married. We stood in front of a few of our friends and some of our family and promised a lot of things to each other. We promised to always love each other. To take care of each other when things are really fun and easy and even when things are hard and no fun at all. We promised to make our marriage and family and home a sign of Christ’s love for the world. We promised to work together and forgive each other and trust and honor each other forever. We asked God to help us keep these promises and asked our friends and family around us to help us too.

We gave each other rings that we will wear from now on as a sign that we are married. These rings are important to us and to the rest of the world. It means that we have made our choice and someone else has chosen us. We also gave you a special bracelet to wear today. Right now you like it because it shiny and an accessory, and you love accessories, but I hope you will know it one day as a special gift you got on a special day.

We had a great party with our friends celebrating this commitment. Our friends came from far and near - but mostly far – to celebrate with us. We had good food, and good music. We laughed a lot and danced! It was cold and icy outside so we had to be inside for our ceremony but it was special and beautiful and proof anywhere can be holy ground. 

It was a great day. A beautiful day.

The thing is Sweet Girl, there are some people in the world who can’t see the beauty. There are some people in the world who think that Bubbie and I shouldn’t be able to make the promises that we made to each other. And some people who think that we shouldn’t even love each other. They don’t get it. And that’s hard sometimes. But you know what? It is ok. It doesn’t make me love Bubbie any less or mean that our promises to each other are not real and important. 

Our love for each other is real and our love for you is real. We don’t need anyone else to tell us that. It is just something we know.

It was really important to me and Bubbie that we make these official promises to each other before we officially get to adopt you.  We’ve made promises to each other before but these promises we made out loud in front of our friends and got permission from a judge to do it which means we are legally married.

You haven’t noticed yet, but our family looks different from other families – but all families look different. Some families have two mommies and some families have two daddies. Some families have one mommy or one daddy. Some families are big and some are small. Sometimes kids live with their grandparents or aunts or uncles. Sometimes families don’t even have kids! Sometimes everyone in the family matches everyone else and sometimes they don’t. Our family right now looks different than it will (probably) in six months. Because we’re a foster family we are open to taking care of kids for a little while when they need it and taking care of kids for a long time or even forever.

We are excited that you are a part of this family. You weren’t the first child that made us parents, but you were the one we’ve gotten to know and love the longest. And the first we think we’ll parent forever.

Your family is special, kiddo. You get a Mama and a Bubbie to take care of you. You have 4 grandparents who love you so much. You have one aunt and uncle and a whole lot of great aunts and uncles. You have lots of cousins in Alabama. We also count our friends in our family. You have an Aunt Missy who sees you often and loves you as much as we do – and she’s just one example of a friend who is our family. Our family has a lot of people in it and all of those people love you and are excited about being your family. And after the promises Bubbie and I made to each other today, both of the families we came from become one new family.

I know one day you may have questions about why our family is the way it is and that is ok and it is good and we will talk about it. I hope that you see in the world around you all kinds of ways to be family. The world is changing, Sweet Girl and it is exciting and scary to be in the middle of that change. I wish we could protect you from all of the scary parts and we will try our best for as long as we can – but just in case remember this: When the scary parts come, or when people who don’t understand our family say things that hurt our feelings it doesn’t change the fact that we are a family. It doesn’t change the love I have for Bubbie or that she has for me and it doesn’t change our love for you.

I married your Bubbie today because I love her and she loves me. We didn’t do it to make a political statement. We didn’t do it to get on TV. We didn’t do it because all of our friends are married and it was an excuse to buy new clothes. We got married to say to world that we are a family and that we have chosen to live out our days with each other, working together to make our world a better place for everybody. We got married because we aren’t hiding our relationship or pretending we are something that we aren’t. We got married because we believe in marriage and that it is something that is important to God and important in our world.

I can’t wait to show you pictures of today and tell you all about it. Until then, know you are loved – now by two married parents – and their friends and family who threw a great party.

Love, Mama Meggie

Dear Baby J (Your third letter),

Dear Baby J,

In some ways it seems like a lot has changed since I wrote to you November and in other ways it seems like not much has changed at all. The days are long but these months have been short.

You are still an adorably chill baby boy! In just a few days you will be 9 months old. You’re sitting well on your own now and kinda of sometimes beginning to scoot. We’re trying to get you to crawl but you’re not interested yet.

Your tongue issues have worked themselves out. You’re eating well now – the people at the WIC office say a little too well! You seem to like everything we give you – but are ready for REAL food with some substance. You’re working on teeth and I think you’ll have two on the bottom any day now.

You're meeting all sorts of people who are happy to get to know you!

You’re still sucking on your fingers and it still drives Ms. Shannon crazy!

You’re learning to hold your own bottle and drink it down so fast!











You’re a great sleeper. You’re currently sleeping in our dining room – or multi-purpose room as we’re calling these days. You sleep through anything that we’re doing around you which is great.

You still very much love your Big Sister. She loves to hug and kiss you and your eyes light up and you laugh when you see her coming.






We celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year with you – all your first. What you should know (even though you won’t remember) is that you celebrated holidays this year with family and friends that love you deeply. 

 

We had good food (you got tastes of all kinds of things), good laughs, late nights, and lots of fun with family and friends. You were showered with gifts for Christmas and surrounded by people who love you.

We celebrated with our Circles family at a holiday party.You sat on the stage while the grownups played a silly game to look like reindeer! 

We saw Santa several times!    

You stayed in church with us on Christmas Eve to celebrate Jesus being born. You loved the lights and the music and I hope that somehow the message of God’s love and hope for the world soaked deep down into your being. You are loved little one, but lots of people in this world but also by a great big God who is also small enough to know you well.

            

We got to go to Disney World while we were visiting friends in Florida for the New Year. 

You rode several rides and liked seeing all of the people. 

You were unimpressed with the fireworks - but they were after your bedtime!

We're not sure how much longer you'll be apart of our family everyday. 

You see your mom most every week and she seems to be trying to learn how to be the best mommy she can be for you. She says your brother and sister want you to come home. You actually got to spend some time after Christmas at home with them and your grandmother. We hear that went well and were glad they wanted this time with you. They gave you some outfits for Christmas and some toys too!

It doesn't matter how much longer you live with us. You're a part of our family forever. We love you and love taking care of you. Most of the time you want your Bubbie still and she happily obliges. We pray for you each and everyday. We pray for you now as you grow and learn and pray for guidance for us as your parents. We also pray for your first family and the changes and decisions they are making to get ready for you to come home. 

We also have been thinking a lot about your future. There has been a lot of talk in the world recently about what its like to be a African-American male in our country. It is something we obviously will never fully understand, but you will. We hope lots of things for you. We hope you grow up happy and safe and with the same chances everyone else has to learn and play. We also hope you don't ever not love who you are. You are a child of God - perfect the way you are. We hope and pray for changes in our world and in hearts. We pray for peace and justice and fairness and mercy - and we pray these things for our world - but also for you J. I hope those are the things you experience now, and in 5 years, and 10 and 20 and 30. 

We love you Baby J!

Love,

Meggie

15 months!

Sweet S,

So much has happened since I last wrote! You’ve been with us now for 15 months and you turned 22 months old!

Christmas came! You had a wonderful Christmas doing many of the same things we did together last year. We love that we are getting to have some traditions with you. Mawmaw and Poppy came from Alabama to be here and we spent lots of time together. We all went to church together on Christmas Eve and you and J stayed in the service with us. You loved the singing and even chimed in when Mr. Scott was talking. I think it was just because you were excited about Jesus being born! When we prayed you folded your hands and bowed your head and said “Amen” loudly before Mr. Scott was finished. We were delighted to have you in worship with us and to celebrate together Jesus being born!

After church our whole family and the Robinsons came to our house for dinner. We had lots of good food together and had a good time. You got several presents that night that you really liked. Some of the presents included clothes and you felt like you needed to try all of them on right away and all at one time. You were so funny!

You got to wear several of my old Christmas dresses this year and that was really special!

On Christmas Day we had breakfast at Maemae and Steve’s with lots of family and that’s where Santa came! You got some wonderful things from Santa, me and Bubbie, and lots of other people. Santa brought you a nice baby doll that you’re still loving to carry and feed and one of the best things Mawmaw and Poppy got you was a baby stroller. It is so fancy!

Later on Christmas Day we went to Grandmama’s house with lots of family. You had a good time opening presents and playing with the baby Jesus from her nativity set. Maggie and Jar gave you some super cool blocks and Aunt Beck painted a lap desk for you. She also found you some pink converses that fit over the braces for your feet!

Later on Christmas night the four of us went with Jar and Maggie to look at Christmas Lights at the Ludy’s. You loved the lights and the music! We also went to Waffle House after and ate together. Memories!

You might notice you have a black eye in many of the pictures from this month. You sustained this injury when your toes met the end of a dust pan and the handle of the dust pan popped up and hit your eye. We were helping Maemae and Steve put ornaments on their tree when it happened. It didn’t seem to bother you too much – although you did try to wipe off the bruise almost every time you saw it in a mirror.

For New Years we had a special treat. Bubbie, J, you and me went to Jacksonville to see Suzanah and her family. She had other friends there with older boys that you loved playing with. You had trouble playing with Henry and remembering to be sweet but we had adventures anyway. We went to St Augustine to see some pretty Christmas lights all over downtown and we got to go to Disney World!

We didn’t we were going until about 12 hours before we went. We didn’t have the right clothes to wear because it was so hot and we didn’t have a plan – but we had a blast. We walked around all day and you loved the people and the music. You also loved the rides! Your favorite seemed to be Dumbo. I am so glad we got to ride together. 

We saw two parades while we were there and lots of fireworks. You loved it all!

My favorite part of the day was being in a magical place with real friends. Henry and his grandmother had to ride Dumbo after we did and so we stood with Suzanah to watch them ride. Something seemed to be wrong with the elephant they were in and it was very funny. We laughed like I haven’t laughed in a long time at something that was quite silly! Good friends matter Sweet Girl. You’re going to need them in all the phases of your life. I hope I am a good model for you of how to be a good friend and how to have good friends. Disney World was a wonderful place to think about all kinds of things!

We stayed up past ALL of our bedtimes and watched the last parade. We were very late getting to our car and back to the hotel. We ended up taking a wrong turn and being on a toll road with no cash to pay a toll. It is funny now – but wasn’t then.  Mimi always told me to keep a $20 bill in the car – and I wish I had taken her advice that night!

This month you’ve gotten a new case worker. We were sorry to see Ms. L go and wish her well in her new position. We met Ms. C and she seems to have knowledge and a background that will hopefully help us move forward with your adoption.

You’ve started using the potty some this month and that’s been exciting. You’re still eating and sleeping like a champ. We do have to put on your footie pajamas backwards because you were taking them and your diaper off at night and making a mess in the bed! You have gotten reacquainted with the time-out stool and this makes me sad. I know you’re just trying to figure out how to be in the world and I respect that. You’ll figure out soon that words are better at communicating than using your hands to hit and that will be a life-lesson that will serve you for a long time.

You are ALWAYS moving. You are so busy and determined to get things done - even if no one else knows what you're working on. Occasionally you'll sit still and its usually for Steve to read to you or rock. 

You still really love your brother J. I think you had as much fun riding with him in this cart and the grocery store as you did at Disney World!

Life with you is never dull and we wouldn't have it any other way! Good things are coming Sweet Girl!

Love,

Meggie