Letter for K

Dear K,

Recently someone who actually reads these letters told me I’d never written you a letter. I thought they had to be wrong, but nope. I looked back and never have. We didn’t even make an official introduction of you on the blog. Please forgive me! You’ve been an important and lively part of our family now for almost 8 months despite your absence from the blog!

You’re the youngest baby we’ve fostered. I met you at the hospital when you were only 4 days old! You were born on a Thursday and we learned about you on Saturday at a foster parent training. We were told you would be going to relatives probably – but before I knew it I remember saying “if something changes and he needs us we can work it out to have him.” The DFCS person said "I didn't think ya'll wanted newborns" and I said "crazier things have happened."

I picked you up on a Monday afternoon in May. Getting a baby from the hospital is something I never thought I would have a chance to do. While we waited for DFCS to get their paperwork in order I asked the nurses a million questions. They gave me some tips for caring for such a new baby and assured me I was going to be ok. I left the hospital with your few belongings and some formula in a trash bag. So not the way you want to enter the world - but we've made sure you had a much better welcome since then.  I strapped you in the infant seat we used for J and thought – are they really going to let me leave with him? The DFCS worker waited with you while I got the van – and then we were off. Bubbie and S and J came home that night excited to meet you. 

You had some allergies and tummy troubles that we didn’t know about yet. We spend your first days with us mostly trying to get you to stop crying. (We really spent your first months with us trying to get you to stop crying.) Once we got you on special formula and meds for reflux things calmed down.

We’ve learned a lot about parenting from you. We learned just how little sleep we can survive on. We've learned what colic looks like. And what silent reflux is. We’ve learned how easy we had it with our first 5 kids. They all were unusually good sleepers – and you’re still not sleeping through the night. We’ve also learned that there is no “one size fits all” approach for parenting. You’re exactly one year younger than K. We had him at the same time through the same stages last year and you’re so different. Some of that has to do with his and your special needs – but most of it has to do with your temperaments. We've also learned what it is like to have a positive relationship with the bio mom of our foster kid.

These days you’re happy 90% of the time. You’re sitting on your own and rolling over. You love being in the walker and cruising all over the house. You are super charming and have the best smile. Your favorite thing is for S to talk or sing to you or pay attention to you in general.  You have one little puff of hair on top of your head. You’re not eating much baby food yet. In fact when we try to give it to you, you scream like the worst thing in the world has happened. We’re hoping you warm up to it soon!

You get to see your birth mom every week and she is working hard to get you back. She comes to all of your doctor’s appointments to keep up with what’s going on with you. You also have been getting some visits with your grandma and your sister too.

We’re excited to have you in our home for Christmas. Your first Christmas is a big deal. You already have seen Santa three times!  You like the sparkle of the lights everywhere  too. We make a big deal out of Christmas because we celebrate and remember that God’s love became real and lived with us. God became one of us. It helps to remember the real-ness of that little baby when we have a real little baby in our home. We love you and care for you because God loves us and cares for us. We hope we make that love real for you every day.

Love,

Meggie and Bubbie

Gracefully

Dear J,

I have written you a million letters in the last two months but until this one they’ve all just stayed in my head and heart. I think I have to write this one down now because sometimes we need to get things out.

I’ve missed you every day since you’ve been gone. Some days are harder than others when we have a food I know you would love or when we know you’ve had a doctor’s appointment and hope you’ve gotten there. Your Bubbie and I have missed you together and separately and everyone in our village has grieved your absence from us.

We haven’t heard from you – but our friends have seen you out and about twice (we may or may not be stalking the Kmart where they saw you once). We like knowing you’re ok and had hoped we would be able to stay in touch. We’ve learned a lot of things about you physically since you left – test results that didn’t come back until you were gone. We know you have some real limitations and are hoping hard and praying hard that your family is making sure your special needs are met. For a while we thought you weren’t getting to appointment and therapies but have just in the last week learned you might be getting what you need from another route. We fought hard for you. We called everyone we knew to call. Your friends fought too. There are lots of people who were really concerned for you. We hope that concern has made a difference.

We’re so sad that you’re caught in a broken system of changing case workers and policies and regulations that mean you’ve fallen in a big ‘ol crack. In the end, I want to be able to say I did everything I could to be able to make sure you don’t stay in that crack.

I’m not writing this to say we’re done fighting. I will always want to make sure you’re ok and I will keep using my connections to try and make sure your needs are met. But I am writing this in some ways to remind myself that I am not in charge. Try as I might, I can’t ensure your safety right now. I have to trust that that is ok.

These are the hard parts of fostering….the loving entirely and completely while you’re in our home and then the still loving entirely and completely after you’re gone. You are the first kiddo who has made us feel this way. You’re not the first who has left us, but you were different. Maybe because you were with us longer…maybe because you have special needs…maybe because we didn’t feel so great about where you were going when you left us…probably a combo of all three – but something about your absence is different.

I hope next week your family gets together and celebrates Thanksgiving and I hope they are as thankful for you as we are. Just know J, that you’re going to be missed at our celebrations and that you are one of the blessings we are thankful for this year.

Love, Meggie

What I Hope for Your Heart

Dear S,

We’ve had a hard week. We dropped J off with his Grandma on Monday. She was very nice and excited to see him. She also seems interested and engaged in taking good care of him. It was easier to leave thinking that Grandma was nice and wants him to be happy and healthy. Our hope and prayer is that this is true.

You gave him a big hug and kiss. We all cried a little (J was crying a lot) and then we met Mae Mae for ice cream. It was nearly supper time and the ice cream ruined our dinner but our appetites were mostly already gone and the ice cream helped.

We’ve talked to you about what’s happening with J since we’ve known he was leaving. You don’t seem to really understand but that’s ok. You’re just 2! You do ask about him often. Every time I hear your sweet voice say “Where JJ go?” I cringe and catch my breath. I tell you every time that he went to live at a different house. Usually you’re satisfied with this answer for about 20 minutes and then you ask again. “Where JJ go?” A couple of times you’ve said “Me different house” and I know you want to go with him. I wish we could see him, Sweet Girl. I miss him too.

The reason it is hard and that it hurts is that we loved him well. He is a part of our family and it always hurts when part of your family isn’t with you anymore.

You’re just a little girl but I wonder about how being a part of a foster family will affect your heart. Even though you’re not officially our daughter yet, you’re our daughter in every way but one. I can’t wait for the day that I can promise you that you won’t ever have to leave our house and go live somewhere else. For now, I can just promise we are doing everything we can to make that happen. (And we’re excited we can adopt you together thanks to the Supreme Court Ruling this summer.)

I can’t imagine doing anything that would hurt you on purpose. Bubbie and I try to make decisions together that are good for our whole family. I don’t want continuing to foster to hurt you. Foster care hurts our hearts and minds sometimes when we have to say good bye or we don’t understand but we’re grown-up and can choose that. Is it fair to choose that for you?

Here’s what I hope being a part of our family does to your heart. I hope that you get to love all kinds of people. I hope that your heart learns how to open up and welcome others in. I hope that your heart learns how to feel deeply and care about the needs of others. I hope that you learn how to guard your heart against things that will hurt, but not against love. I don’t think we should ever guard our hearts against love.

I don’t want your heart to break, but I know that’s a part of love. If we don’t care about people it is easy to never feel sad. We are sad now because we love JJ so much. But I wouldn’t trade back one day with him even if it meant we wouldn’t feel sad now. I am glad we opened our hearts to him and knew him and love him.

I hope that as you get older we can talk about this more and more. I want your heart to be ok. I want you to be able to talk to me about how you feel. I want being a part of a foster family to be a healthy thing for all of you – not just your heart. Your Bubbie and I will keep thinking about you as we make decisions about what’s good for our family. There are a lot of things in the world I want to shelter you from, and the situations that could bring kids into our home are some of those things. BUT, I want to you know that for every bad or scary thing, there are good and hopeful things. There are days that will break our hearts – but there are also days full of love. And those days and that love is why we do this. We all need love.

We love you Sweet Girl,

Mama

P.S. I know your world has turned upside down - but please...you've got to start having sweet hands more often than not at school. Even when we're sad, we can't hurt our friends! I think mostly you just want to boss everyone around and make them play with you but that's not love and that's not how we make friends. We talk about this too, but hey - you're just two. 

Court Today.

Dear J,

We had court today where the judge made a big decision. He decided the best thing for you is to live with your grandmother. We’re not sure all the reasons why this hasn’t happened before, but for whatever reason  - this was decided today. You’ll be with us for two more weeks and then move to her house.

Right now my heart is breaking. All along I’ve known you weren’t really our little boy – but all along you’ve really been our little boy. We’ve been the family you’ve known and loved and who has loved you for 427 out of your 474 days on earth. We’ve celebrated your first foods, your first teeth, when you finally rolled over, and now you’re finally scooting! We’ve worked extra hard to help you reach some milestones and are certain that you’ll catch up as long as you keep getting the help you need. We celebrated more than a year of holidays with you and your first birthday. You’ve been on trips and seen the mountains, the beach, Disney World, weddings, tractors, pig races, and spent days at the river. You’ve been a part of our larger families who have loved you and cared about you too. You’ve been a part of our church family and our work families.

I can’t remember what life was like before you. Our family won’t be the same after you. Your sister is going to miss you so much. She has loved you from the first day you came to our house. You’re just getting old enough to stand up to her pestering and enjoy playing with her.

You will always always have a huge piece of your Bubbie’s heart. Since she first met you, you have had her wrapped around the littlest of your little fingers. I don’t know what she’s going to do without you.

J, you made us a family that didn’t match. With you in our family we got more looks and questions. We did a lot of thinking about whether or not that was really best for you. We hope we were what you needed. We’ve known from the beginning that we would probably be saying goodbye one day but that doesn’t make today any easier. We have worked hard to be the family you needed and promised to be that family as long as you needed it.

It looks like the court says you won’t need us after the next two weeks. We hope this move is a good one for you and brings some healing and reconciliation in your first family. We hope you keep growing and learning. We hope you are well taken care of and your special needs are met. We hope your family tells you about God and much God loves you and cares for all of us. We’re going to ask if grandma will keep in touch so we can know how you’re doing. We hope she agrees.

We’re going to make the most of these next two weeks. Get ready for extra snuggles and extra hugs and kisses. We’ll pack your clothes and your favorite toys and books and get ready as best we can. As we do all that we’ll pray without ceasing for you and for your grandma and your mom and your dad and your bio brother and sister and for your foster brother and sister and your Bubbie and your Meggie. We’ll ask God to give us peace and wisdom and an extra measure of love for one another.

Love you,

Meggie

First Day of School

Dear Sam,
I haven’t written you a letter since March. There are all kinds of reasons for this (including someone reported us to DFCS for having a picture of you visible online AND we bought a new house and moved in AND we have a new baby in that new house that makes anything extra seem impossible) but don’t think that because I haven’t written I haven’t had things to say! We have pictures that tell the story of our summer: becoming a family of 5, you getting a new room in the new house, your first swimming lessons, special days with Mae Mae and Steve….the list goes on.

You’re two years old in every way. You’re talking more, starting to pretend, running all the time, asking a million questions, and trying to use the potty more and more.

Something special happens tomorrow that I wanted to make sure I wrote about. You’re going to start school!

Now, in some ways this change won’t feel that different for you. Since you’ve lived with us you’ve gone 5 days a week to Ms. Shannon’s house for daycare but at her house there are only 6 kids (you and your brothers are 3 of the 6) and none of the kids are really your age. So – even though it won’t be my first time dropping you off to stay somewhere while I work, it will still be different.

School is really important. Even in the two-year old room. It is where you’ll learn about letters and numbers and colors and shapes and feelings. You’ll learn about listening and standing in line and waiting your turn. You’ll learn more about books and pretend and art and science and which slide on the playground is really the best. The most important thing I think school will do for you this year is give you a chance for you to make friends and learn how to be a friend. You’ll have to learn more about sharing. You’ll get to learn more about being kind. You already care deeply for people – especially when they are hurt and school will help you know what to do with that. I am excited about all that school will teach you.

The school you are going to is pretty special. I went to school there! And Jar went to school there. Lots my friends went to school there too. In fact, when we were there today for orientation I talked to another Mama who I know from being in school there 30 years ago. Your Bubbie and I hope we have made a good choice for you and that you have a wonderful time there. In my wildest dreams I would never ever have imagined I would be living in Columbus and sending a child to the same pre-school I attended – but you should know that our life right now is so much better than any of my wildest dreams!

You probably are going to be the only kid at this school who has two moms.  We know that sending you to school means that you’re one step closer to realizing that makes our family special. We trust the school and the church and hope that you never ever feel like this is a bad thing. We’re excited about you having friends and meeting people that have all different kinds of families. Steve has already put the “donuts with dad” day on his calendar to celebrate with you and Bubbie and I both will be there for “muffins with mom.”

We’re figuring this out as we go, Sweets, and we're trying to make the decisions that are best for you and for our family. You continue to bring us and our friends and family so much joy. You’re smart and sassy and beautiful and independent. I am so glad – so glad – that we’re celebrating this “first” with you. I can’t wait to see what happens this school year and how you grow.

I love you Sweet Girl,
Mama

P.S. We’re still waiting on some things to be printed in the paper and some papers to be signed. Your adoption has been delayed again, but we’re confident there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Months 16 and 17

Sweet S,

This is the first of your monthly letters that I have combined months. We have had such a busy two months I’m just writing one to get all caught up. March 16 marked 17 months of your life with us. So many things have already happened in our family in 2015 – we know it is going to be a year full of wonderful things.

You’re still a great eater and are moving so fast these days. You’re always on the run! We eat at Waffle House every Saturday morning that we are home. Sometimes it is the four of us and sometimes MaeMae comes. We've started having to order you your own egg and waffle!

You are developing such a personality. You have very strong ideas about many things and let that be known in not-so-great ways sometimes – but we’re all learning together. You’re learning that hitting and yelling doesn’t really get you far in the world and we’re learning how to best be your parents.

You’re also talking A LOT more. You’re putting words together in longer and longer sentences. My favorite sentence right now is “What doing?” or “Where going?” Most of the time we understand what you’re saying but sometimes you have so much to say so fast we have no idea what you’re saying. Soon we know we will understand.

In January we participated in the MLK Unity Procession with others from my work. You enjoyed the parade, watching the dancers, and seeing all the people!

We also went to see Bubbie’s parents for the weekend. You always have a good time with MawMaw and Poppy (and you got to play a close game of checkers with J).

I had to work one Saturday in February and was able to take J with me. That meant you and Bubbie spent the WHOLE DAY together – just the two of you. You did all kinds of fun things and really enjoyed the extra attention. You even got cookies at the mall!

We celebrated another Valentine’s Day with you. You got cards in the mail from MawMaw and Poppy and MaeMae and Steeeve. You sure are a lucky girl to have those four who love you very much.

Not long after Valentine’s Day we met friends and family in North Carolina and your Bubbie and I got married. It was a wonderful time with wonderful people that we will never ever forget. We are so glad you were there with us. During the service you stood with us for most of the time and that was ok. There were parts when you wanted to be held too and that was ok. You were upset Uncle Jar couldn’t hold you because he was playing the guitar but you did spend some time with Sig and that was fun. We hope to have some more pictures soon from that part of the weekend. 

One of the funniest things from that weekend was your planned attack on the donuts. You waited until someone put them in your reach and went for it! The box dumped on your head - or several boxes did but you were not deterred!

You came home and stayed with Aunt Missy for several days while Bubbie and I enjoyed some time alone in North Carolina. We missed you and J but knew you were in good hands and having a blast here without us.

In March we all had fun at the Walk/5k that is a fundraiser for my work. You loved seeing the dogs and running around! I am glad my family was able to be there. Here you are with someone you just walked up to and started talking to. You never meet a stranger.

Last weekend we went to celebrate Sarah and Kristen’s wedding. LeAnn and I preformed the wedding which meant we got to be there early and have lots of fun. You were a wonderful flower girl! You and Parker and Patrick held hands and walked, er, ran down the aisle. It was adorable. I am glad you were able to see another couple promise to love each other for ever. Sarah and Kristen are important to us and it was so special that you were a part of their day.

You also REALLY loved dancing. They happened to get married on your birthday so I think you treated the reception like it was your birthday party! You ate and danced and ate and danced and had such a good time. You enjoyed dancing with Parker and Patrick, Aunt Mia, and strangers!

Since the weather has been nice we've been spending more time outside. We had a spur of the moment picnic with MaeMae and Steve at the park last week. You had a blast!

We celebrated your birthday this past weekend with friends and family at one of your favorite places – the Mexican restaurant! It was good to have so many friends and family gathered to celebrate you. Next year we promise to have a more planned and “pin-trest-y” party but you had a blast at this one!

We also took some really great pictures outside this weekend of you and J. I know we’re biased – but we think you’re pretty dang cute. And love how so much of your personality is captured in photos.

We met with the caseworker this month and she plans to go see some folks to get some things signed soon so we can move forward with adopting you. You’re already ours in our hearts but it sure will be nice to have it officially on paper.

We love you Sweet S and hope you know it!

Love,

Mama

Today was a big day!

Dear Sweet S,

There are a lot of things I want to tell you about today. I am trusting this will be a day we talk about many times and I can’t wait for those times. For now, we’ll have to do with this letter since most of our conversations these days are about Elmo or why I’d like you not to pull your brother’s hair.

Today your Bubbie and I got married. We stood in front of a few of our friends and some of our family and promised a lot of things to each other. We promised to always love each other. To take care of each other when things are really fun and easy and even when things are hard and no fun at all. We promised to make our marriage and family and home a sign of Christ’s love for the world. We promised to work together and forgive each other and trust and honor each other forever. We asked God to help us keep these promises and asked our friends and family around us to help us too.

We gave each other rings that we will wear from now on as a sign that we are married. These rings are important to us and to the rest of the world. It means that we have made our choice and someone else has chosen us. We also gave you a special bracelet to wear today. Right now you like it because it shiny and an accessory, and you love accessories, but I hope you will know it one day as a special gift you got on a special day.

We had a great party with our friends celebrating this commitment. Our friends came from far and near - but mostly far – to celebrate with us. We had good food, and good music. We laughed a lot and danced! It was cold and icy outside so we had to be inside for our ceremony but it was special and beautiful and proof anywhere can be holy ground. 

It was a great day. A beautiful day.

The thing is Sweet Girl, there are some people in the world who can’t see the beauty. There are some people in the world who think that Bubbie and I shouldn’t be able to make the promises that we made to each other. And some people who think that we shouldn’t even love each other. They don’t get it. And that’s hard sometimes. But you know what? It is ok. It doesn’t make me love Bubbie any less or mean that our promises to each other are not real and important. 

Our love for each other is real and our love for you is real. We don’t need anyone else to tell us that. It is just something we know.

It was really important to me and Bubbie that we make these official promises to each other before we officially get to adopt you.  We’ve made promises to each other before but these promises we made out loud in front of our friends and got permission from a judge to do it which means we are legally married.

You haven’t noticed yet, but our family looks different from other families – but all families look different. Some families have two mommies and some families have two daddies. Some families have one mommy or one daddy. Some families are big and some are small. Sometimes kids live with their grandparents or aunts or uncles. Sometimes families don’t even have kids! Sometimes everyone in the family matches everyone else and sometimes they don’t. Our family right now looks different than it will (probably) in six months. Because we’re a foster family we are open to taking care of kids for a little while when they need it and taking care of kids for a long time or even forever.

We are excited that you are a part of this family. You weren’t the first child that made us parents, but you were the one we’ve gotten to know and love the longest. And the first we think we’ll parent forever.

Your family is special, kiddo. You get a Mama and a Bubbie to take care of you. You have 4 grandparents who love you so much. You have one aunt and uncle and a whole lot of great aunts and uncles. You have lots of cousins in Alabama. We also count our friends in our family. You have an Aunt Missy who sees you often and loves you as much as we do – and she’s just one example of a friend who is our family. Our family has a lot of people in it and all of those people love you and are excited about being your family. And after the promises Bubbie and I made to each other today, both of the families we came from become one new family.

I know one day you may have questions about why our family is the way it is and that is ok and it is good and we will talk about it. I hope that you see in the world around you all kinds of ways to be family. The world is changing, Sweet Girl and it is exciting and scary to be in the middle of that change. I wish we could protect you from all of the scary parts and we will try our best for as long as we can – but just in case remember this: When the scary parts come, or when people who don’t understand our family say things that hurt our feelings it doesn’t change the fact that we are a family. It doesn’t change the love I have for Bubbie or that she has for me and it doesn’t change our love for you.

I married your Bubbie today because I love her and she loves me. We didn’t do it to make a political statement. We didn’t do it to get on TV. We didn’t do it because all of our friends are married and it was an excuse to buy new clothes. We got married to say to world that we are a family and that we have chosen to live out our days with each other, working together to make our world a better place for everybody. We got married because we aren’t hiding our relationship or pretending we are something that we aren’t. We got married because we believe in marriage and that it is something that is important to God and important in our world.

I can’t wait to show you pictures of today and tell you all about it. Until then, know you are loved – now by two married parents – and their friends and family who threw a great party.

Love, Mama Meggie

Dear Baby J (Your third letter),

Dear Baby J,

In some ways it seems like a lot has changed since I wrote to you November and in other ways it seems like not much has changed at all. The days are long but these months have been short.

You are still an adorably chill baby boy! In just a few days you will be 9 months old. You’re sitting well on your own now and kinda of sometimes beginning to scoot. We’re trying to get you to crawl but you’re not interested yet.

Your tongue issues have worked themselves out. You’re eating well now – the people at the WIC office say a little too well! You seem to like everything we give you – but are ready for REAL food with some substance. You’re working on teeth and I think you’ll have two on the bottom any day now.

You're meeting all sorts of people who are happy to get to know you!

You’re still sucking on your fingers and it still drives Ms. Shannon crazy!

You’re learning to hold your own bottle and drink it down so fast!











You’re a great sleeper. You’re currently sleeping in our dining room – or multi-purpose room as we’re calling these days. You sleep through anything that we’re doing around you which is great.

You still very much love your Big Sister. She loves to hug and kiss you and your eyes light up and you laugh when you see her coming.






We celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year with you – all your first. What you should know (even though you won’t remember) is that you celebrated holidays this year with family and friends that love you deeply. 

 

We had good food (you got tastes of all kinds of things), good laughs, late nights, and lots of fun with family and friends. You were showered with gifts for Christmas and surrounded by people who love you.

We celebrated with our Circles family at a holiday party.You sat on the stage while the grownups played a silly game to look like reindeer! 

We saw Santa several times!    

You stayed in church with us on Christmas Eve to celebrate Jesus being born. You loved the lights and the music and I hope that somehow the message of God’s love and hope for the world soaked deep down into your being. You are loved little one, but lots of people in this world but also by a great big God who is also small enough to know you well.

            

We got to go to Disney World while we were visiting friends in Florida for the New Year. 

You rode several rides and liked seeing all of the people. 

You were unimpressed with the fireworks - but they were after your bedtime!

We're not sure how much longer you'll be apart of our family everyday. 

You see your mom most every week and she seems to be trying to learn how to be the best mommy she can be for you. She says your brother and sister want you to come home. You actually got to spend some time after Christmas at home with them and your grandmother. We hear that went well and were glad they wanted this time with you. They gave you some outfits for Christmas and some toys too!

It doesn't matter how much longer you live with us. You're a part of our family forever. We love you and love taking care of you. Most of the time you want your Bubbie still and she happily obliges. We pray for you each and everyday. We pray for you now as you grow and learn and pray for guidance for us as your parents. We also pray for your first family and the changes and decisions they are making to get ready for you to come home. 

We also have been thinking a lot about your future. There has been a lot of talk in the world recently about what its like to be a African-American male in our country. It is something we obviously will never fully understand, but you will. We hope lots of things for you. We hope you grow up happy and safe and with the same chances everyone else has to learn and play. We also hope you don't ever not love who you are. You are a child of God - perfect the way you are. We hope and pray for changes in our world and in hearts. We pray for peace and justice and fairness and mercy - and we pray these things for our world - but also for you J. I hope those are the things you experience now, and in 5 years, and 10 and 20 and 30. 

We love you Baby J!

Love,

Meggie

15 months!

Sweet S,

So much has happened since I last wrote! You’ve been with us now for 15 months and you turned 22 months old!

Christmas came! You had a wonderful Christmas doing many of the same things we did together last year. We love that we are getting to have some traditions with you. Mawmaw and Poppy came from Alabama to be here and we spent lots of time together. We all went to church together on Christmas Eve and you and J stayed in the service with us. You loved the singing and even chimed in when Mr. Scott was talking. I think it was just because you were excited about Jesus being born! When we prayed you folded your hands and bowed your head and said “Amen” loudly before Mr. Scott was finished. We were delighted to have you in worship with us and to celebrate together Jesus being born!

After church our whole family and the Robinsons came to our house for dinner. We had lots of good food together and had a good time. You got several presents that night that you really liked. Some of the presents included clothes and you felt like you needed to try all of them on right away and all at one time. You were so funny!

You got to wear several of my old Christmas dresses this year and that was really special!

On Christmas Day we had breakfast at Maemae and Steve’s with lots of family and that’s where Santa came! You got some wonderful things from Santa, me and Bubbie, and lots of other people. Santa brought you a nice baby doll that you’re still loving to carry and feed and one of the best things Mawmaw and Poppy got you was a baby stroller. It is so fancy!

Later on Christmas Day we went to Grandmama’s house with lots of family. You had a good time opening presents and playing with the baby Jesus from her nativity set. Maggie and Jar gave you some super cool blocks and Aunt Beck painted a lap desk for you. She also found you some pink converses that fit over the braces for your feet!

Later on Christmas night the four of us went with Jar and Maggie to look at Christmas Lights at the Ludy’s. You loved the lights and the music! We also went to Waffle House after and ate together. Memories!

You might notice you have a black eye in many of the pictures from this month. You sustained this injury when your toes met the end of a dust pan and the handle of the dust pan popped up and hit your eye. We were helping Maemae and Steve put ornaments on their tree when it happened. It didn’t seem to bother you too much – although you did try to wipe off the bruise almost every time you saw it in a mirror.

For New Years we had a special treat. Bubbie, J, you and me went to Jacksonville to see Suzanah and her family. She had other friends there with older boys that you loved playing with. You had trouble playing with Henry and remembering to be sweet but we had adventures anyway. We went to St Augustine to see some pretty Christmas lights all over downtown and we got to go to Disney World!

We didn’t we were going until about 12 hours before we went. We didn’t have the right clothes to wear because it was so hot and we didn’t have a plan – but we had a blast. We walked around all day and you loved the people and the music. You also loved the rides! Your favorite seemed to be Dumbo. I am so glad we got to ride together. 

We saw two parades while we were there and lots of fireworks. You loved it all!

My favorite part of the day was being in a magical place with real friends. Henry and his grandmother had to ride Dumbo after we did and so we stood with Suzanah to watch them ride. Something seemed to be wrong with the elephant they were in and it was very funny. We laughed like I haven’t laughed in a long time at something that was quite silly! Good friends matter Sweet Girl. You’re going to need them in all the phases of your life. I hope I am a good model for you of how to be a good friend and how to have good friends. Disney World was a wonderful place to think about all kinds of things!

We stayed up past ALL of our bedtimes and watched the last parade. We were very late getting to our car and back to the hotel. We ended up taking a wrong turn and being on a toll road with no cash to pay a toll. It is funny now – but wasn’t then.  Mimi always told me to keep a $20 bill in the car – and I wish I had taken her advice that night!

This month you’ve gotten a new case worker. We were sorry to see Ms. L go and wish her well in her new position. We met Ms. C and she seems to have knowledge and a background that will hopefully help us move forward with your adoption.

You’ve started using the potty some this month and that’s been exciting. You’re still eating and sleeping like a champ. We do have to put on your footie pajamas backwards because you were taking them and your diaper off at night and making a mess in the bed! You have gotten reacquainted with the time-out stool and this makes me sad. I know you’re just trying to figure out how to be in the world and I respect that. You’ll figure out soon that words are better at communicating than using your hands to hit and that will be a life-lesson that will serve you for a long time.

You are ALWAYS moving. You are so busy and determined to get things done - even if no one else knows what you're working on. Occasionally you'll sit still and its usually for Steve to read to you or rock. 

You still really love your brother J. I think you had as much fun riding with him in this cart and the grocery store as you did at Disney World!

Life with you is never dull and we wouldn't have it any other way! Good things are coming Sweet Girl!

Love,

Meggie